Posted in Personal

The fourth anniversary of the ‘crazy’

I don’t think I’ve mentioned my second husband on here. I don’t even know where to start on that one.

We were good friends in high school and reconnected through MySpace (geez was that popular only 6-7 yrs ago?) with the occasional hi, how are ya. Then I moved on to bigger and then less teenage, Facebook. It was a year or so later that he found me again and we began to catch up.

It was also around the time that my first marriage was on life support and everyday we got closer to pulling the plug. He became a confidante and a shoulder to lean on. You see where this is going right?

After hubby #1 moved out, I found myself in a financial crunch and a couple of months later my friend’s lease was up and we had the great idea he would move in with me and my boys to help out while he looked for a better place.

Long story short, he never left. We were engaged within a year and married soon after. There had been so many warning signs to get out earlier on, but I was blind. I was so determined to prove that I was a good wife that it ended up costing me a night in jail and nearly losing the love of my oldest son.

After both of those events, I played my part, bided my time and counted down the month til I could file for divorce with our tax return.

That night/fight is what I termed the crazy. I never thought I would be arrested for defending myself but there it was. A couple weeks later I went and got this:

image

A physical reminder that I’m stronger than I think and I’ll be damned if some man wins my sanity.

That December he finally snapped, showing his friends, my friends and family, everyone the hell that I had secretly been going through. It was the Friday before Christmas, he stole our rent money and my car and took off to New Mexico.

I changed the locks, called every police agency I could think of for help and finally broke down and told everyone about the abuse I had suffered, showing the scars that had been left behind.

Unfortunately my children had been mentally abused but with counseling for all us, we’ve put most of it behind us and I have learned to be so much more careful. Hell, I’ve been on one date in five years.

Besides my immediate family, only a handful of people knew about the arrest. I have no idea what is processing (I know this is the wrong word, but I can not think of the right one for the life of me) me to write about it today.

Maybe someone in a similar situation will see it and it will help. Maybe people will read it and think I am beyond bonkers. I don’t know. Lately I just don’t care what people think about me. And not sure if that is a good or bad thing.

Guess time will tell.

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Author:

Lisa Arrington is a mother to two wonderful who has always had a passion for writing. Lisa attended a local technical college and received an associate degree in Computer Networking which she put right to use. Lisa currently lives in Southern Arizona with her two sons and when not writing she can be found curled up on her favorite chair with Kindle in hand, reviewing books for her blog, chauffeuring the boys around town for basketball games or playing Candy Crush Soda on her phone. She loves the color blue, can't get enough cherry cheesecake ice cream or Junior Mints and will forever be in a power-struggle over the big screen TV with her youngest child.

3 thoughts on “The fourth anniversary of the ‘crazy’

  1. I just want to say thank u !
    Thank u for being strong enough to talk about this …. my mum was in a very violent relationship for many years she didn’t stand up for us so as u know how hard that was ….. at 13 he would start to cuddle me and it made me feel funny I guess anyone can guess what happened next I ended up running away for awhile then went home to the same stuff … about a year later he moved next door to another women and we eventually moved away mum now suffers from a lot of medical issues including mental health problems and blames a lot of the craps on me she has since moved away and no longer talks to me besides an occasional phone call… me I’m happy I am married with 3 kids but I suffer from depression anxiety attacks and ptsd … I am stronger for what I went through but I still think domestic violence and sexual abuse is still hidden and not spoken about but u know what it’s not ur fault it’s the barstard that has done it’s fault and please know there is help available u don’t have to put up with it and no what he or she says u DONT deserve it ! …
    Thank u again …

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I want to hug you. I am so sorry for what you went through. I have the scars as a reminder that I did stand up for kids and I truly wish someone would have stood up for you. I’m glad that you have been able to find happiness and I wish you peace.

      Like

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