Posted in Personal, Self Pub, Writing

Decision

I’ve always had a problem with what I wanted this blog to be. I mean, I knew I wanted it to be about my writing and my books and a few personal posts here and there, but since applying for disability and all the hell that comes from that, this blog has become a catch all and I don’t want that.

So I have started a new blog strictly for my disability updates, frustrations and maybe (hopefully) it will turn into somewhat of a guide for folks in Arizona who are struggling with getting through the disability process and this will once again become a blog strictly for my writing processes, frustrations and maybe (hopefully) a guide for other Indie writers trying to make it out there.

Posted in Uncategorized

Nothing 

There is nothing out there for people who are applying, waiting and praying for disability benefits. There are tons of programs for people who can work and need help getting back on their feet but there is nothing for people who physically and/or mentally cannot work. 

Which means they have no income. Zero. If married or partnered up it comes with its own challenges of missed income, but its a tad easier than being single  (I’m guessing here, I know it’s not a cake walk either way).

Being single and being a single parent who cannot work but still trying to maintain some sort of independence is an oxymoron. You still have to apply for state assistance, housing and whatever else your state may offer.

You think you would get the support of your family, but nope, your mooching off them and why can’t you just get a job until your disability is approved.

Yeah.

Cause then I wouldn’t need disability, but you know I’m lovin’ stressing out over rent, food, electricity. And now transportation since the car dealership went back on their word and decided that what you were paying wasn’t enough so I returned the car.

And now I get cussed out nearly daily from a relative who’s car I am borrowing… so yeah.

I don’t understand why they can’t start your benefits and then stop/deduct them if you aren’t approved. This is just a single mom barely holding it together vent.

Posted in 30 Day Writing Challenge, ROSE, Writing

Sorry

A lot of family stuff came up mid August that made keeping up with the writing challenge impossible.

I have to admit, it was fun having to come up with answers for things I never would have thought of and allowed me to expand my story a bit.

I hope you enjoyed what I was able to complete and if you did it along with me, congrats on your accomplishment!

Posted in 30 Day Writing Challenge, ROSE, Writing

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 22

A page long sentence describing in minute detail where a main character sleeps (no pausing, just stream of consciousness):

* Why the hell am I awake?
* What time is that meeting tomorrow?? Er, today???
* Should I wear slacks or a skirt?
* If I wear a skirt I’m gonna have to touch up shave…….
* If I fall asleep by 3, that’s 3.5 hours of more sleep!
* Stupid, scary dream. It’s the reason I woke up.
* Why can’t I be a kid again?
* Wait, do I want to be a kid again?
* Man Vs Food guy is nuts
* I’m thirsty
* Why am I awake?
* Why do I let people push me around?
* The winning lottery numbers are 12 23 5 16 2 19
* Good googly moogly that is a huge steak!
* Why am I thinking about all of this inane crap?
* Still thirsty
* Why do people die?
* What does this dream mean?
* Is the couch really that comfy?
* I really need to get new pictures of my parents
* Yes all of this stuff is truly going through my mind right now
* I need more time in a day
* I hate having to lose time with my parents, but this job is so demanding
* Is strap perfect *really* that great?
* I’m so not going to sleep before/by 3am
* It’s going to be a loooooooooooong day
* It’s now 2:56am
* 3:01am
* Jack is on……
* But so is Good Eats………….
* Must.turn.mind.off!

~Alexandra

Posted in 30 Day Writing Challenge, ROSE, Writing

30 Day Writing Challenge – Day 20

A letter to your inner critic from your highly successful, multi published, award winning future self:

We did it! After all the hard work and rejection, the constant ridicule from family, we did it. It wasn’t easy, we spent a lot of time swearing to throw in the towel, but we didn’t. We found the support we so desperately needed and they saw us through it.

We never imagined the amount of love we would receive from our fans – all over the world- we are still in shock that our books have been translated into several different languages!

Well it’s time for another signing, the shock ever ends.

Go us!

 

Posted in 30 Day Writing Challenge, ROSE, Writing

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 19

A scene in which a character now has a mental health or personality disorder:

“Don’t you know who I am?” The woman demanded again. “I am Elise Mathers, reporter for The Sun Dispatch! I have been interviewed by Oprah, Wendy Williams and GMA on various pieces and I demand to be let go from this horrible place.”

The orderly sighed and flipped the page of his magazine. He hated this shift, everyone hated this shift since this Jane Doe was admitted after having a heart attack. She refused to tell them her name and her prints weren’t in the system, so she insisted on being a famous reporter. It would be somewhat convincing if she remotely looked like the woman she was claiming to be.

Dirty and wearing ill fitted clothing found in the lost and found, she had been there for two weeks now. They had tried every therapist, psychologist and psychiatrist that made been willing to see her. She had scared them all off.

Frustrated that she was being ignored, she ripped the paper from the young man’s hands and flipped through the pages until she found what she was looking for.

“See? This is me!” she exclaimed pointing to the picture.

The man took a look and then looked back at her. The woman in the picture had dark hair, dark eyes and stood with her arms crossed with a ‘don’t mess with me’ attitude radiating off of her. The woman in front of him was obviously ten to fifteen years older, ash blond with light blue eyes that reminded him of the murders in some horror shows.

Before he could try to explain again that it wasn’t her, his watch chimed, signalling that it was time for her medication. Taking a deep sigh, he set his paper down and braced himself. The nurse entered the door and right on cue, the woman bolted to the other side of the room.

I’ll give her one thing, she sure is fast for an old lady.

With a look at the nurse they stayed just far apart to cage her in and to grab her if necessary.

“Jane, you know this is for your own good.” The nurse spoke in gentle kind tones. One hand raised as the other held the syringe.

“My name is not Jane! It’s Elise, why won’t anyone believe me?” she began to sob. “I don’t belong here, please help me get out of here.”

The orderly took that chance to go behind her and place strong hands on her shoulders. He hated to hold patients down and silently prayed that she would just get the shot.

Please, just take the shot.

The nurse quickly rubbed an alcohol swap against Jane Doe’s skin and injected the medication cocktail.

Within minutes she was being led back to her room, already woozy as the meds rushed through her system.

As sleep began to take over, she whispered to herself, “I am Elise Mathers, I am Elise Mathers, I… am… Elise…”

And then she was asleep.